It was a wintery day, Christmas stood at the door with its white coat and long beard. Trevor was insecure, the uncertainty was eating at him. He was told by his friend Christine, of the DailyDeviants team, that this would be the best place; since she had had to deal with her polls issue and they actually saved her life. But still, as sure as he was about solving his problem, it seemed like taking the step through the door was one hell of a leap.
He managed to say, surprised by the abrupt reality-call.
First timer? Kate asked him, smiling as confidently as she could, remembering her first time, standing at the door just like he is now.
Trevor said while his cheeks burned.
Thats OK. I know whats that like, let me help you. she pushed him through the door and laughed. So surprised he was at the act, Trevor had nothing better to do than laugh. After a few seconds of laughter she walked in. Sorry about that, but I find it helpful to just, you know go for it.
Yeah, I guess youre right. Thanks. He laughed in embarrassment.
The room was already full, people were standing in groups all around, talking to other people, drinking coffee, eating cookies. A man in a blue suit, which was not too formal but much more than the others, stood in the middle of a circle of chairs. People, he said in a low and very confident voice its time. Please take your sits. People all around finished their conversations, and got into the circle of chairs, sitting.
Are you coming? Kate asked Trevor and he reluctantly nod, taking a step forward and sitting next to Kate, who seemed very amused at his reluctance.
Good afternoon, today we have some new members and to start Id like all of us to have a short round of names, everyone who wishes to add few lines about themselves is welcomed to do so, but for the time being lets keep it simple. So my name, as most of your already know, is Dr. Ralf Maximus, but I prefer Ralf. I run this group almost 5 years now, and I enjoy the occasional nose picking.
Hi. Said the unlady with burning hair and faerie wings that was sitting next to Ralf. My name is Kathy, and I would like to kill you all. Its nothing personal, its just what I do kill everyone swiftly and efficiently. Accept Kate. Hi sweetheart!
Hi honey! Kate blew a kiss in the air and a giggle icon appeared above her head.
Kathy, Kate, please, lets keep it orderly for the time being. Ralf said as Kathy glared at him with her fairy eyes.
eh... yeah, hi. My name is Ben. And I brought cheese.
Ralf: Never mind that now, Kathy.
Kathy: No. Cheese is not OK.
Ben: But its a good cheese!
Kathy: I dont care if its a good cheese!
Amber: will you two just shut up for a second! *rubbing her head* Jeez
Hi, Im Amber.
Ralf: you wanna add anything to that? [Amber gives Ralf a mad look] Oookie
Kate: Well, Im Kate, and Im not new here. I am addicted to :#litlove:.
Group: We love you Kate!
Ralf: Very good people. Trevor, youre next.
Trevor: yeah, hi. Im new here
my name is Trevor.
Kathy: What? Fervor?
Ralf: Kathy, be nice to Trevor, he is new here.
Omri: Hi, well, my name is
Ralf: Ok, so next on our agenda is
Kate: Hey! Havent you forgotten something?
Ralf: Yes? What? Oh, yeah. Sorry Omri, speak up next time.
Omri [murmurs to himself]: Yeah, Im Omri.
Ralf: OK, so who wants to start today?
Ben: Well, I have this problem with
Ralf: I think well start with Trevor then. Go on.
Trevor: What about
Ralf: oh dont mind him. He brought cheese.
[Kate nudges Trevor]
Trevor: well, I got this problem. Im posting too many journals
though Im not sure its a problem really, because Im enjoying it too much.
Ralf: You cannot admit to have a problem if you dont have a problem.
Trevor: Yeah, I guess youre right there. So, so maybe I do have a problem.
Group: We love you Trevor!
Kathy: well you know what Im sensing? Insecurity.
Ralf: Thats very good Kathy, why dont you go on with that.
Kathy: well you all know that I have this problem with, burning people, thats not new there
But Im confident at my burning capabilities. Trevor, it seems to me like you are afraid of your addiction.
Ralf: Thats a very insightful comment. Anyone wants to add something to that?
Amber: I think that Trevor is not telling us the whole truth.
Ralf: And why is that?
Amber: I think he is afraid to expose himself.
Ralf: Trevor, do you want to reply to that?
Trevor: well, you know
Im new here.
Ralf: That would not be an excuse.
Trevor: Ok, so maybe thats true. Maybe Im not sharing everything, so what?
Kate: So you cant solve the problem if youre not completely out there.
Ralf: You know what I think? I think that Trevor is afraid of us.
Omri: I would be afraid too if I was new here.
Ralf: You are new here.
Trevor: OK, you know what? Ill tell it as it is. I like the fact Im doing those journals. OK?
Ralf: The first step to recovery is admittance.
Trevor: Yeah, but I dont want to solve that!
Kate: I feel hostility.
Amber: Me too.
Kathy: Sorry about that!
Ben: I think that
if I may
that Trevor is hiding behind his social mask.
Ralf: wow, that was very insightful.
Ben: I think that if you peel off his mask of socially acceptance he will be more self aware.
Ralf: and how should we do that?
Amber: Take off his shirt?
Kate: Im not looking!
Omri: Do I smell burning cheese?
Kathy: Im hungry!
Ralf: OK, Trevor. Take off your shirt please.
Trevor: But I dont want to do that! What are you, crazy?
Ralf: if you wont take off your shirt, how can we help you?
[After a lot of fighting around Trevor takes off his shirt]
Ralf: how does it feel now?
Ben: thats because you are afraid of telling us the truth about your inner self.
Amber: Yes! Tell us the truth about your inner self!
Kathy: Can I have his inners on a stick?
Omri: thats a lovely sight
Ralf: Omri, will you not disturb this very important process thats going on here? We are trying to focus!
Ben: Yeah, shut up!
Ralf: Ben, it is not OK to jump on a running horse!
Kate: thats not a saying!
Ralf: Im the professional here, I get to say whats a saying and whats not.
Kathy: You better talk nice to her!
Ralf: or what?!
[Kathy burns his mustache]
Ralf: I dont even have a mustache!
Kathy: now you dont.
Trevor: You guys are crazy
Group: We love you Trevor.
Kate: Trevor, why dont you be more open with the group? Share your feelings?
Trevor: OK, I want my shirt back.
Amber: No way. Its mine now.
Kathy: Kate, how are you sweetheart?
Kate: oh, Im fine and you?
Amber: you know Ive watched Mtv the other day and
Ben: youre talking about that show with the
Ralf: People! Trevor is in dire need of help! Cant you see hes suffering?!
Group: We love you Trevor!
Trevor: listen, I dont know whats wrong with you people, but Omri just killed himself.
Trevor: That guy!
Ralf: Oh, thats OK. Leave him be. Now lets focus on you.
Trevor: But hes dead!!!
Ralf: Its just a call for attention, hell come back.
Trevor: Are you crazy?! We need to call an Ambulance!
Ben: He is trying to divert the subject again! Look!
Trevor: He is bleeding on the goddamn floor!!!
Kathy: Thats not blood! Thats strewberry juice!
Trevor: its blood!
Kate: you are too tensed you know, what is troubling you so much?
Ralf: tell the group what you are so afraid of.
Trevor: Dead. Guy. Floor. Blood.
Amber: I got a headache [rubs her temple]
Ralf: You know what I think? I think Trevor is afraid of the truth. Afraid to face the truth.
Trevor: and that would be?
Kathy: that youre a zatch.
Ralf: Kathy! Behave!
thats so sweet!
[Kate and Kathy hug]
Ralf: I think that you are afraid of not doing your journal because deep down you know that if you stop journaling you are dead.
Ghost of Omri: I tend to agree here.
Kate: yay! Wb!
Ghost of Omri: that took longer than expected
gota fix my net connectivity
[Kate tries to hug the spirit of Omri]
Trevor: What is going on here?!
Group: We love you Trevor!
Trevor: I didnt even say anything relevant! You are all nuts
Ralf: Are we? Or is it you that is nuts?
Ghost of Omri: nuts
Kate: not that again
When Trevor was back at home, opening his laptop and logging in to DeviantART, the journal popped into his vision and the memories of the traumatizing event flushed back. He realized that the last thing he wanted to do now was write a journal.