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Literature Text
The durra pipes as reed-flutes should
When western winds go rampant wild,
It bows its head in absolute
Submission to the durra's tide.
It grows around a cromlech tomb
Where heroes blessed the blood-drenched ground
And know it not the plough shall comb
Its beauteous, lone, carefree sound.
If she'll come she must be listening, Faith.
If she comes she must be listening, Faith.
If she comes, she must be listening, Faith,
For if it's right – 't must be Love.
When western winds go rampant wild,
It bows its head in absolute
Submission to the durra's tide.
It grows around a cromlech tomb
Where heroes blessed the blood-drenched ground
And know it not the plough shall comb
Its beauteous, lone, carefree sound.
If she'll come she must be listening, Faith.
If she comes she must be listening, Faith.
If she comes, she must be listening, Faith,
For if it's right – 't must be Love.
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Lately I've become more and more symbolic in my writings. It was always there, I admit, look at the meaning of kitchenware in my older poems, but this symbolism becomes more and more subtle in appearance and with it more and more essential.
This poem plays with Nature, as much as Nature plays with my heart. I let the durra sing the words for me, I let the wind do the search within my soul, I let Faith direct the melody to the heart for which it plays through all. I think I need some air.
This poem plays with Nature, as much as Nature plays with my heart. I let the durra sing the words for me, I let the wind do the search within my soul, I let Faith direct the melody to the heart for which it plays through all. I think I need some air.
© 2011 - 2024 leoraigarath
Comments9
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Overall
Vision Originality Technique ImpactOverall impressions:
The first stanza made my Romantically-inclined mind think of Coleridge's Aeolian Harp and Shelley's Ode to the West Wind, both of which deal in their own ways with this idea of trying to read meaning into nature. Your poem enters that same kind of conversation by directing our attention to something industrial, something agricultural, and situating that object in a larger scheme.
Possible suggestions:
The durra pipes as reed-flutes should
When western winds go rampant wild
I understand your intent with ending the first line with should to create a subtle rhyme with wild, but I find myself a bit perplexed by the syntax. Should is a helping verb, so I'm expecting a main verb to appear somewhere around the corner, but to no avail here.
And know it not the plough shall comb
I kept wanting to read this as "And it knows not the plough shall comb." I can see why the inverted word order fits the meter, but are you putting know in the subjunctive here, or is it in the indicative?
My favorite parts:
Grammatical nitpicking aside, I love the way the poem's archaic style contrasts what it describes. My favorite part is definitely the repetition at the end, forcing the reader to slow down and look at the nuances between the three lines about Faith. The agricultural metaphor of planting durra where warriors once fought seems like an affirmation that faith will bear fruit through adversity.
Very cool.