26: The Importance of Understanding

As some of you might know, I've been searching the world for an answer to the importance of Poetry in our modern world. So far I am more confused than understanding; I start to wonder if I'll ever get it.

The other day, I was asked – "What is it that you aspire to?" That's a rather strange question, I thought, what does one aspire to? Then came the natural idea of - isn't that supposed a most dynamic thing? I mean, we go through so many changes in life that one can't really grasp what was in the day before, what would bring the day tomorrow, so what can one really aspire to?

Personally, with all honesty, I have a moral issue with that question: On one side of the trench, I am a practical person which knows how to get what I want to get, when I decide to get it, and on the other side, do you really want to be a practical-mind when it comes to Art? Isn't that a bit of a strange notion - Practical Art? How does one create a poem in a practical way? Let's review my writing history, you'll find out that It can take me years to finish a poem, and I have more than a handful of evidence in my gallery, though some poems can take mere days to be finished. If you look at it like that there's nothing really practical about that, the other way around – it is the most impractical approach.

Wait a minute, I've drifted. Let's go back to the subject –
What can one really aspire to? If I'll say that I aspire to be a recognizable poet, who can actually live off his art, whose art would outlive him and integrate with the deepest levels of our cultural essence, saying all that would make me one egomaniac bastard, don't you agree? Still, wouldn't that be something? Isn't that what I'm trying to do, deep deep down underneath all the walls of my personality?

Then again, there's the ever so important pop relatedness - I wouldn't like to popize my art. I aspire to express myself the way I see things, to reveal it all for me as much as to you, and to be able of being my most devoted audience; to emphasize and identify with that I create, to feel it. That doesn't really go hand in hand in our modern conception of what publicizing mean. Doesn't necessarily contradict it, but doesn't agree with either. In fact, the word Truth have been altered by the media so easily that I hardly believe anybody can recognize a truth walking down the street.

For a guy who is not much of a crowd-pleaser (you are not, let's face the truth dear Omri), for a semi-loner, strange, peculiar human-being, you make things rather hard on yourself, don't you. So here comes the parade: Take the first part of my ambition – I feel horrible about it. Sounds so pretentious, doesn't it? If have read another artist say those words I would have probably spewed an euch! and look the other way. What kind of character allow a thought pattern of such an ego-pumped manner, a bit megalomaniac, isn't it? But it's there, aspiring, motivating me to write (when I'm not depressed due to it, or maybe when I'm depressed it all comes out much better…). At the same time, it makes me feel appalled to realize it. And the second part of it is the Shyness, which works in a rather unusual way: I strive forward, making, building, creating, and then – halt. Can't. No crossing. Too strange, exposed, how can I reveal so much, poetically or as is. Oh no, that's it, I must hold myself aback! And there it is, the grand blankness.

Still haven't answered the question really, did I. If there was a degree in avoidance I might get a doctorate without even applying. So, what can one really aspire to? As far as one can, I aspire to be a poet not only in my heart and fingers, in my essence, but in interaction with the world as well. And how far can one aspire really? Probably not farther than one step beyond that which we know. And when it comes to Poetry, first one have to know what it means, then, and only then, can one actually take that one step farther.

So here it is, the conclusion of this journal entry, why do I search for the meaning of Poetry? No, it is not only an interesting topic for a philosophical discussion, it actually dictates the limitations of my world-view, my artistic essence, my aspiration to cross those limits into the unknown and bring back with me some new understanding of that uncharted unknown.

There's a storm brewing outside, the winds howl and roar, I am in dire need of sleep.
Be true – be you,

- Omri.





The Redress of Poetry by Seamus Heaney

_{I've bought this amazing book on my trip to Poland, on 2009. I found it in the most amazing bookstore I've ever been to in my entire life, called Massolit Books & Cafe, fell in love with the place immediately. This book is a collection of lectures regarding Irish Poets and Poetry, and it is so in depth and interesting that there were chapters I couldn't stop reading. Simply fascinating.}



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